I was cleaning my house and making it nice and presentable today, I usually need a motivator to do that because I am lazy. In just over a day from right now one of my best friends from the east coast is coming to visit me. I spent a decent chunk of time in the east coast and met some incredible people, Michelle sticks out because the majority of our friendship actually formed after I moved away. We had hung out a few times while I lived in New Jersey, but she and I really connected via the phone after I moved 600 miles west.It is funny how friendships grow, we plant seeds every day and have no idea what they will grow into. When I first encountered Michelle in any way she was just a cute girl on Myspace (I know, right?) that I wanted to try to get to know because we had mutual friends and she seemed interesting (also, cute.) Michelle ended up being one of the most interesting people I’ve ever encountered. We went from a few chats, to a few awkward but fun hang outs to phone calls when I moved away.
Our friendship developed from there in my opinion so naturally that I didn’t even quite see it. Before I knew it we were on the phone once or twice a week having great long conversations about politics and philosophy, about being non religious and anarchist. She taught me so much interesting stuff and was always a great example of everything that she believed in. She is the most lovely, kind, and giving non-religious, feminist, anarchist you could ever meet. Next to me, maybe…Michelle gave me so many gifts that I don’t think she will ever quite realize, she taught me that it was ok to be a little selfish with your friends. When I would get depressed and feel really bad about myself she encouraged me to call her. No matter how many times I had called her that week already, and she would go out of her way to be there for me. When Michelle has a missed call from me, she calls me back immediately like it is her duty. Michelle treats being a friend like a full time on call job and I could never thank her enough for that.The friendship I have with Michelle has made the other friendships I have better and more rich. When I look back at those simple little Myspace messages we exchanged that turned into one of the most substantial relationships of my life I am reminded that every day we plant seeds. Those seeds will grow into something so big, so beautiful, and we won’t even know it until it’s right in our faces. Michelle also comes to Ohio to see me just about every year, and it means the entire fucking world to me.I love you Michelle, I can’t wait to see you. Thank you again. I hope we get a better picture together while you are here.

I was cleaning my house and making it nice and presentable today, I usually need a motivator to do that because I am lazy. In just over a day from right now one of my best friends from the east coast is coming to visit me. I spent a decent chunk of time in the east coast and met some incredible people, Michelle sticks out because the majority of our friendship actually formed after I moved away. We had hung out a few times while I lived in New Jersey, but she and I really connected via the phone after I moved 600 miles west.

It is funny how friendships grow, we plant seeds every day and have no idea what they will grow into. When I first encountered Michelle in any way she was just a cute girl on Myspace (I know, right?) that I wanted to try to get to know because we had mutual friends and she seemed interesting (also, cute.) Michelle ended up being one of the most interesting people I’ve ever encountered. We went from a few chats, to a few awkward but fun hang outs to phone calls when I moved away.

Our friendship developed from there in my opinion so naturally that I didn’t even quite see it. Before I knew it we were on the phone once or twice a week having great long conversations about politics and philosophy, about being non religious and anarchist. She taught me so much interesting stuff and was always a great example of everything that she believed in. She is the most lovely, kind, and giving non-religious, feminist, anarchist you could ever meet. Next to me, maybe…

Michelle gave me so many gifts that I don’t think she will ever quite realize, she taught me that it was ok to be a little selfish with your friends. When I would get depressed and feel really bad about myself she encouraged me to call her. No matter how many times I had called her that week already, and she would go out of her way to be there for me. When Michelle has a missed call from me, she calls me back immediately like it is her duty. Michelle treats being a friend like a full time on call job and I could never thank her enough for that.

The friendship I have with Michelle has made the other friendships I have better and more rich. When I look back at those simple little Myspace messages we exchanged that turned into one of the most substantial relationships of my life I am reminded that every day we plant seeds. Those seeds will grow into something so big, so beautiful, and we won’t even know it until it’s right in our faces. Michelle also comes to Ohio to see me just about every year, and it means the entire fucking world to me.

I love you Michelle, I can’t wait to see you. Thank you again. I hope we get a better picture together while you are here.

inlovewithideas:

We are made of star stuff. Otters hold hands while they’re sleeping so they don’t drift apart. To keep warm. Safe. We now have less crime, and a longer life expectancy, than at any other time in human history. For someone, somewhere, today is the best day of their life. And despite how riddled…

There’s something I really want to talk about, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. It’s about the way we live our lives and the things we take for granted that are around us all day long and how we don’t necessarily appreciate them or worse we construe them into something negative or something we shouldn’t be happy about or we shouldn’t be proud to be a part of. So I want to share a story that is very personal.

Earlier this year a very close friend of mine passed away suddenly, very unexpectedly, and many of you who are reading this know who I am talking about. They were a close friend and a mentor, I couldn’t have ever imagined how much pain that was going to be, I could never guess how much that was going to hurt. Since I was young when I’ve been sad, lonely, or depressed I’ve felt a great need to have people near me, I think most people have that need. For whatever reason inside of myself I’ve always told myself to hide from people because, I don’t know maybe I feel too needy or something. It’s been a bad that’s made sad times harder on me in the past.

When this happened I needed people so badly, I posted on Facebook what was going on and hundreds of people contacted me to give their condolences, to send their love, to just let me know that they cared. Even if they didn’t know what to say because who knows what to say in a situation like that? None of us really do. Everyone came to my aide consistently and friends were coming to my home to check on me and people were emailing and calling constantly. It helped so much. Knowing that so many people had me in their thoughts helped so much, it allowed me to get up in the morning every day and face the reality.

It was incredible and it made all of the difference in my life. I can’t imagine how I could have gotten through that without so many people being so loving. This is all because of social media, something that a lot of people claim is a waste of time or makes you more lonely. I just have to say I disagree very much. When I look at the landscape that’s by Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, all of the social media that is popular all I see is more connection. More human connection. I know there are negative things, I know there are negative threads, negative websites, of course there are. There are negative people and there are negative things in life but there is so much good.

If you use it wisely you can look at your Facebook feed and see nothing but a mirror into the beauty of the world, you can fill your Facebook page with funny stories, beautiful music, and pictures of your friend’s babies or you can fill it with hate and bigotry. That’s up to you but when people say that it’s a waste of time or that it’s not important I have got to take a bit of offense to that. I grew up a weird kid and I had a lot of interests that were unusual. This was before social media really, I had AOL instant messenger and even that allowed me to connect with people I would have never known existed in the world.

I felt so much less lonely growing up because of the internet. We have an entire generation of kids who are coming up and everyone is saying “oh well they’re glued to their cell phone the whole time” “Oh they’re too busy tweeting to pay attention to life” and maybe that’s somewhat true. All good things should be in moderation but you know what they are busy doing? They’re busy communicating, they’re busy establishing relationships, and just because we don’t understand those relationships, because they’re not tradition or a value that we understand from when we were growing up doesn’t make them less valuable. If anything they are much more valuable!

Can you imagine now growing up being gay in the middle of, I don’t know, Arkansas in a small town and you can watch television and get on the internet and see that there are people just like you and that it is not wrong and it’s not evil and that you have value. That’s the world we’re coming up in now, it’s incredible. It’s amazing and I feel that is something everyone should share in. Everyone of these pictures on your Facebook, not matter if it’s a picture of a dog or a still from a movie or it’s actually your friend’s face or other body part, every single one of them is a person. They have hopes and dreams, they love and laugh and have a mother and a father and if you wake up every day and choose to love them but more importantly to let them love you how is that hurting anything? How is that doing anything other than enriching your life? That’s what I want to know.

I hear a lot of people say negative things about social networking ironically on social networks but how can any of this be wrong? Human interaction and the way we express ourselves evolves along with us and I think it is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen in my life. I love it. That’s why I sat down here and typing about the most painful moment in my life. Because I can share that with you, and you can share that with me. I appreciate it, I am so thankful to have this opportunity and I promise I’ll never take it for granted.

We’re not promised tomorrow, tomorrow never comes, we live today. I am so lucky to live today the way that we all get to live, loving everyone that I can every minute I can. If you get anything out of reading this I hope you realize how important that is. All this is, all of these series of cables and satellites and camera phones and youtube blogs, all they are at the end of the day is a way to exchange love. If you let it.

Do me a kindness and simply comment a name or two of some people you love. It won’t take long and it will be lovely. Share this around lets get hundreds of names!

I was reminded the other day about what it truly means to date a teenager… Don’t date a teenager.

The Best Memory I Have.

I love memories, I know most people do. When I get too stressed or start to take things too seriously I like to stop and just breathe in the past. I’ve had a lot of incredible memories that are hard to top. As I write this I am on a deadline to turn in the first edit on a feature film and I have been working on it nonstop for almost 8 days now. I have also been preparing for the Cinema Wasteland movie convention which I have been vending at on and off for nearly 10 years. So as I cut away at this film merciliessly I am also preparing merchandise and getting ready for my trip to Cleveland Ohio. Having a deadline and working like mad before Cinema Wasteland is nothing new, I have done it so many times. This is what triggered my best memory.

I am not sure what quantifies “best” really, but here goes something. I was 18 years old and I had just put out a small film with some friends called Faces of Schlock (this is the backyard version, later we all released an impressive epic version which you can get on Amazon.com) and was now cranking away on the sequel to the film. We had sold a huge load of copies at the Cinema Wasteland prior so we made a sequel hoping to continue the success. I was editing my segment as well as putting all the segments together, mixing audio, authoring it to DVD and making LOTS of copies. I was tired, I was going to bed late and waking up early every day for two weeks.

I was by that point not in high school and I was keeping weird hours trying to do as many projects as I could, I had a lot of trouble waking up early to get back into the grind. Every morning at 7:30am before she went to work my mother would knock on my door, open it and have a fresh cup of coffee and some eggs and toast ready for me. Since I was a little kid food always got me up out of bed, I would eat the food and she would head off to work. She did that for me every single day until I made my deadline. The day before the convention she brought me McDonalds to really seal the deal that she wanted me to do well. That night I was burning so many copies there was no time to sleep at all. Each copy took about a half hour and every copy I made was potential income, my mother woke up to start her day at work and she loaded a fresh DVD into my computer each time it spit out a burned copy while I got some rest for the trip I would go on later that day.

My mother’s support has always been vast and wonderful, but this sticks out in my mind. My mother burning copies of my stupid movies because she wanted to see me do well, she claims she was inspired by my dedication. I think she’s just the best mother any one could ever have. I love her deeply. Best. Memory. Ever.

Crying,

Henrique